Herman Cain is my name, and the issues twirled in my brain,
When so many questions came and tore up my lame campaign.
In the autumn of 2011, I was in front of the other seven,
But Rick Perry couldn’t count to three;
I was hopin’ that I’d be the nominee…
(Chorus) The day I drove my campaign down,
And all my pizzas were burning;
The day I drove my campaign down,
And all the pollsters were turning,
They went, “New-ew-ew-ew-ew -ewt, New-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ew-ewt”
Back with my wife in Georgia, and she said, “I got some news for ya,
Herman, stop your flirtin’, or you’re gonna get some hurtin’.”
Now I don’t mind she threatened me, as long as she backed me up on TV.
Just don’t ask again about Ghaddafi, ‘cuz it makes me look like a freakin’ dummy.
Just like Bachmann before me, I tried to make a name.
And just like Perry before me, I went down in flames.
He was just a stupid, swagg’rin’ rube, and he made himself look like a boob.
I swear by the tax cuts for the rich, you can’t raise a campaign up when it’s in a ditch.